These two words are used interchangeably without realising the difference between these two.
Sometimes we use different words without realising their real meanings such as if someone is sad we start saying he/ she is depressed which is not true. Similarly, if someone has weird behaviour, we label them ‘pagal’ which is derogatory.
Loneliness is a state where the person is looking for someone’s company for his or her benefit. So somewhat it is exploitative behaviour. In the case of ‘alone’ you enjoy your own company and don’t exploit the company of others. Loneliness is painful but alone can be comforting!
So let’s be alone than lonely!
But being alone can be creative also! Let me give my example.
I am also going to be 69 years old shortly and I live alone (unfortunately I lost my wife about 14 years back). During COVID time one day I was sitting in my drawing room and wrote a poem which is reproduced here:
अच्छा लगता है!!!!!
सवेरे उठकर अध्खुली आँखों के साथ बाहर
निकलना
जिद्दी पेड़ के पत्तों को झड़ते हुए
और अपने छोटे से गार्डन में नन्हें पौधों को
अपनी ओर हंसते हुए देखना
अच्छा लगता है!
अंदर आकर सोफे के घुसे हुए कोने में बैठकर
चुप्पी के साथ काफी देर तक बातें करना
अच्छा लगता है!
बैठे-बैठे सुनसान घर में
सूनेपन को देखना और अचानक किसी पुरानी
याद को सुनकर मुस्कुराना
अच्छा लगता है!
कैसे दिन निकल कर आगे चलता है
कुछ लोगों को फोन करना और कुछ के फोन
का इंतजार करना
और फिर गुस्सा करके फोन को बंद करना
और फिर अपने इस व्यवहार पर मुस्कुराना
अच्छा लगता है!
किसी के सपनों को
अपने सपनों की गठरी में बांधकर अपने
सपनों के साथ पूरा होते हुए देखना
और आंख नम हो जाना
अच्छा लगता है!
सतीश कौंशिक
Being alone or lonely is because of situations in our lives. Losing your partner, children settling in their own lives or moving away for studies, midlife empty nest syndrome etc. Sometimes you feel lonely even surrounded by a large family/ number of people as you don’t find anyone to talk to!
How can we cope with loneliness? Some thoughts/ ideas/ suggestions:
1. It’s you who can work to take care of this situation not anybody else so identify first that you are lonely; 2. Identify what you love to do, your unfulfilled desires, your wish or your hobby on which you were not able to work earlie; 3. See how you can work on that to fulfil those wishes. Start small!; 4. Find someone to talk to! If you have your life partner, renew and recalibrate your relationship. Work on it and then see what happens!; 5. Go out of your house, walk, travel, spend time with nature, and involve yourself with your family; 6. Our life is unpredictable so we don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. So don’t wait, if you have to say sorry to someone, say it now! If want to say thank you to someone, do it now. Don’t wait! Showing/expressing gratitude improves your happiness! ‘Kisiko bhi mukamal jahan nahi milta ‘ so be satisfied with what you have got! The most important is to ‘Accept who you are’ and then make efforts to make it better!
You will start feeling good and happy!
