The art of listening with empathy and in a non-judgmental manner is fast becoming extinct like the various species in the world of fauna and flora! Listening has been reduced to a mere exchange of information: ‘Do this!’, ‘Don’t do this!’ ‘The food is in the fridge; microwave it and have it. Feed your little sister too!’
This barrage of instructions is not limited to the parent-child, teacher and the taught, husband-wife, employer-employee relationships but seems to have become all pervasive.
In the mad rush to acquire more and more in terms of wealth and status, we are losing the core of humaneness! The direct consequences are seen in the form of the collapse of the joint family system, broken homes, depressive people, increase in suicide and divorce rates.
The indirect repercussions are hypertensive people, more lifestyle diseases, frayed tempers, hundreds of FB friends and social media followers but no one to pour your heart out to, road rage, screen and other addictions!
Students are committing suicides as their parents and even teachers have little time to listen to them. Marriages are falling apart due to the collapse of communication between the husband and wife!
Listening is the cornerstone of effective communication and strong relationships; people young and old are dying to talk to someone who will listen to them without forming a judgement, to understand them and not be ready with a reply!
Empathetic listening provides a vent to pent up feelings, a sense of belonging, reduces feelings of isolation and loneliness, essential for one’s good mental health.
While listening, pay heed to the speaker’s body language, facial expressions and tone of voice which mostly provide valuable insights into the state of mind. Refrain from only paying heed to the words spoken but to understand the unspoken message and emotions.
Empathy forges deeper connections and fosters trust.
By asking open-ended questions and, without being too intrusive, encourage the speaker to elaborate on his/her thoughts and emotions. Often silence speaks louder than words; allow the speaker moments of silence as he/she processes emotions without being rushed into answering.
Don’t ever get into the preaching mode as that kills communication.
If by active, patient, empathetic and non-judgemental listening, we can save even one life and family, our efforts will be well-rewarded. Become a buddy listener to build trust, overcome stress, foster connection and manage conflicts to enhance the mental health of our fellow beings!
You may reach out to me through Samvada if that helps! Samvada is all about communication and we are listening!
