Mrs. Chand Kapoor, a 94-year-old resident of Palms says, “ I have had a good life beta and I don’t have any regrets. All my three daughters are doing well and have good relations with me” When I asked her what advice she has for younger people, she said “Study hard, work hard but also find work-life balance. Have time for family, children and to pursue your spiritual practices”. However, like many ageing people, she is exhausted with illnesses and wishes that her time comes soon.
One of the best non-fiction books I read last year was Top 5 Regrets of the Dying which made me curious to speak to some elderly’s in the Palms.
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients during the last 12 weeks of their lives. She routinely asked her patients about the regrets they had or anything they would do differently. She also highlights the clarity of vision people would gain at the end of their lives and the common themes that would surface again and again during these conversations.
As per the book the top 5 regrets of dying are:
1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself (and not what others expected of me)
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so much
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish I had let myself be happier
No matter which age group you fall in, if you’re reading this it’s perhaps a good time to look at the world and your life in a better way. To some of the young readers, it is important to realise that what you think you will regret when you are young is not what you will eventually come to regret.
It’s never too late to become who we want to be, it’s also true that we can seek wisdom at any age.
The book offers some valuable lessons that we can apply to our own lives. Here are my key takeaways after reading the book:
1. Live Authentically: Embracing authenticity leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. Even if our lives and decisions were influenced by parents or partners, it’s not too late to begin changing that. Try making choices now that are aligned with your values.
2. Find work-life balance: Easier said than done for so many of us. But try! Working too hard at the expense of personal relationships might be a regret that has crossed our minds so often. It’s funny how our work and careers seem to define us while we’re young, and how little they seem to matter in the end.
3. Express your feelings: Make sure you tell people how much you love and appreciate them while you still have the chance. For those that don’t, they are stuck with this regret that their relationships weren’t as honest and rewarding as they could have been.
4. Nurture relationships: According to a study by Harvard, happiness is a lot dependent on the quality of your relationships. Friends bring humour to sad times and are capable of understanding us through the worst of times.
Choose Happiness: While it may not be possible to be happy every day, learning to steer the mind towards that direction is. It is easy to think that happiness depends on something falling into place when it is the other way around. Things fall into place when happiness is already found.
